(Deborah Brown was one of the speakers at the 2009 Christian Heritage Home Educators of Washington Convention.)
Insert personal note by Leigh: I am sure I have discussed this with some of you in the past. When I was early in my Christian walk, I used to become offended and disturbed when people would use the phrase, "training my children". I always envisioned them teaching the kids to "sit", "beg", and "roll over", and all that is involved in dog obedience classes. But, as I learned and grew more, I came to realize this term is appropriate and desirable for our children.
The dictionary defines the verb, ‘to train’, as:
-to develop or form the habits, thoughts, or behavior of (a child or other person) by discipline and instruction,
and,
-to make proficient by instruction and practice, as in some art, profession, or work.
After reading this definition, don’t we all "train" our children? Wouldn’t we be remiss if we didn’t?
Lecture notes. My insight and input is in italics.
-It is your job (as a mother) to train your children how to do chores with a grateful attitude. They need to understand their contribution to the family and the benefits. Once established through home management, this skill will carry into school, then work.
-Folly (state of being foolish, lack of guidance or direction) is bound up in the heart of a child. It is our job to handle it and to guide it.
-Training is harder than teaching.
The definition of teaching is:
-to impart knowledge of or skill in; give instruction in
and,
-to impart knowledge or skill to; give instruction to
-Don’t rob your child of the character building experiences they need. Make sure you follow up to see that chores were done correctly. "If you don’t inspect, don’t expect." If you accept jobs half-done in chores, it will be expected to accept a half job in everything else.
-Teach them to love and trust the scriptures. Teach them the ‘Fruits of the Spirit: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Self Control’. Teach them not just in word, but in deed.
I used to get stressed out when I was told to teach something to my children that I did not have in my own heart, or at least I did not have to the degree that I wanted to. But that is what we are called to do, and God is so good to groom our hearts right along with our children’s.
-Help them to see the wisdom of the Lord. Personal and family Bible study, scripture memorization, sharing with your kids how the Lord has impacted your life.
-Help them to help the needy. Read from the book of James and teach them how to care for community. Develop a heart for others. Be proactive as a family in serving the local and global community. Teach that the world does not revolve around them, but that their contribution is integral.
-Ask your husbands what they would want their child to learn. The husband determines the pathway of the family.
Scripture to consider:
Jeremiah 10: 2: This is what the LORD says: "Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them." (Ask what is important to God versus what is important to the world (she even added ‘mainstream evangelism’)
Ephesians 6:1-4 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." OBEY THE SCRIPTURES AND TEACH YOUR KIDS TO OBEY YOU
Deuteronomy 6:4- 7: Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Proverbs 13 , 24,, 51, 1 John, Titus: She did not have particular verses, but referenced these in whole. I encourage you to read them when you have the chance.
-Suggestion: As a family, read a "Bible in a Year" program
-Invest in your husband first! This is another "thing" that used to bother me as a new Christian. How can anyone place someone over their own children?? But, I will tell you this, as I began to place my husband first, my children benefited, and we have a stronger family as a result. This is a case where I really had to trust the Lord to give me understanding and now I see the wisdom in His design for us.
-Family Boot Camp: Attitude Adjustment. This is what the Brown family has when someone has a bad attitude or is struggling with an emotional issue. The whole family stops what they are doing, and invests in prayer, scripture, role playing, etc. to help the person get back on track or have greater understanding.
–Brown family daily routine
- Family Worship
- School Work
- Chores
- Play Time