“Stop caring about what other people think and start thinking about caring for other people…”
I saw this somewhere recently and it really stuck with me. How many times have I scrutinized myself over the years over my figure, hairstyle, makeup application, clothing before a social function…How many times have I stressed over how my beliefs and lifestyle (including homeschool) choices would appear to others?
Now that I am 40-something, here are a few things I have learned over the years:
1) Don’t focus on looking good; focus on being healthy. How I wish I could have embraced this truth back in my teens! All the wasted energy of trying to look good and never measuring up! Society seeks to tear us down and focus on what’s wrong,(ever watch those “entertainment” shows that pick apart celebrities? Do you ever find yourself in social situations where the same is being done with your peers?) but I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Ps. 139:14), by a Creator who counts every hair on my head. (Luke 12:7). If I believe this, I will then believe that I am physically created exactly as God intended. Who am I to disrespect His creation? This does not mean that I am going to stop trying to look good, but I am going to stop using the world as my guide. My main focus turns to making wise choices to care for the body God gave me. Of course, I still enjoy getting my hair and nails done, etc., but it’s a minor consideration versus the main focus of wise choices for health, and building inner character according to God’s will and not my own or the world’s.
1 Samuel 16:7 “But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” Health naturally looks good anyway.
2) My Style is My Style. I have a friend who has the coolest, most unique sense of style. She creates much of her clothing and you will never see the same item on anyone else. I joke that she is my ‘alter-ego’. She wears what I am too afraid to. I just know I could not pull off what she so beautifully can. But, she has inspired me to be a little more creative with how I put myself together. To seek items that make me smile and wear them without worrying about what others think. I am a hat person, but used to not wear them much. I am challenging myself to incorporate them more into my daily wardrobe, as a way to define my style. I am also going to take sewing classes this year and look forward to tapping into that creative element.
3) Actions that Glorify God, Not Myself or Others. Through the years, I have tended toward being a “people-pleaser”. I love getting positive affirmations from others. Really, who doesn’t? But, I have had to learn to shift my thoughts and actions toward glorifying God, and God alone. I used to rush into service opportunities for the recognition. Now, before I agree to something, I process the action through this filter: Does it bring God glory? How will it affect my family and home life? Is this something God wants me to do, or is this one more “good” thing that may not be meant for me?
4) Stop Over-analzying. Song lyrics,“turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of his glory and grace.” (see video here). When we keep our focus on Jesus, we can stop worrying about what other people think. When we focus on Him, and His will for us, His glory and grace causes everything else to become strangely dim. If we look up, there’s no need to look around for our identity or our validation. The only time we need to look around is to find others and to point up and share with them the wonderful face of Jesus Christ.
5) Forgive Yourself and Others. When we bear a grudge, the bitterness and resentment eats away at our core. The grudge hurts us more than it hurts the one it’s intended for. When we forgive, we are free from the bitterness and resentment. Confessing our sins and laying them at the feet of Jesus, (what He calls us to do), we can leave them there and start anew. Because the sins are at the cross, they no longer need to be strapped to your back and carried around, a constant reminder of the past. Because you are forgiven by Jesus, you no longer have to worry about what other people think. There is only one opinion that matters.
…and start thinking about caring for other people…
that’s a whole new blog post.