As the crisis of “my mom is going to die any minute” extended from hours, to days, to weeks, my prayers began to shift. I went from prayers of praise and thanksgiving for the gift of time, to questioning God on this whole process. Why was He keeping my mom around when death was imminent? Was there still closure that she (or one of us) needed before passing? What lessons were still needed to learn this side of heaven? Why did He allow so much pain, both physical and emotional?
After three weeks of having the whole family together, my husband took our boys back home to California. My aunt and I became the primary caregivers. However, my mom had a wonderful group of friends that gave us a break and kept my mom feeling loved, encouraged, and treasured.
Being separated from my husband and boys was an additional stress on an already extremely stressful situation. I had to focus on God’s promises to keep from losing it…
Hold on to the Promises…
#1) I love my mom, but not as much as God does. I ran across this ‘Father’s Love Letter’. I think appropriately captures in scripture God’s love for each of us. He chose my mom, He created my mom, He knows the hairs on her head; she was fearfully and wonderfully made. Nothing is greater than God’s love for His children.
#2) God is Sovereign…. with a capital ‘S’. This journey with my mom was definitely a testing of my belief in God’s sovereignty. I had to become clear on if I believed God was who He said He was. I had to become clear that my ways (will, desires) are not necessarily His own. I had to become clear that He is all-present, all-powerful, and all-knowing. I had to trust that even if I did not agree with His timing or methods, He knows and He makes all things work together for good. (Rom. 8:28) If I trust in a sovereign Lord, I need not stress or worry about things to come. He’s got it.
#3) We are Not Promised a Tomorrow or That Life Will be Easy James 14:13-16 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”
#4) God is Here
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1
#5) A Supernatural Peace There were times that were really, really hard. Yet still through it all, there was a peace that surpassed all understanding. People would say to me that I was handling this well. I could only respond that it was not me; it was God. Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
#6) A Stronger Faith… This is going to sound a little crazy, but please bear with me. When people of faith go through times of trial, even though it is hard going through it, our faith is strengthened as we come to realize that God is with us, working through us, holding us up, giving us peace, solace, comfort, and rest. If we keep our hearts and mind aligned with His, we witness the Holy Spirit in ways we did not know prior to the crisis, challenge, trial, or temptation. I understand now when someone says, “God is good”, regardless of circumstance. Even amidst hardship, God is good. And our faith is strengthened as a result. As our faith grows, we can trust God to provide for ALL our needs during the next trial. And that is pure joy. James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.
I never would wish hardship for anyone, but I do pray for God to reveal Himself through the hardship in real, tangible ways and faith is strengthened as a result.